cant believe today is the last day of 2004! its been an interesting year, to say the least. im so excited for 2005! i get to get my permit, my liscence, my first car, my first real job, ill prolly go 2 public school for the first time, and we're gunna move... and im gunna sell my horse! and thats just a few of the things that i kno of! im really excited for 2005!

so yeah, sryness for not posting lately, life has been life-ful, and its kept me from such a site. o and plus my rents took away most of my daily internet time, so the little that i do have i spend in my email. so yeah, i dunno when ill post next, but farewell untill then, and HAPPY NEW YEAR!

yay... friday was very fun... went christmas caroling at a nursing home thing w/ the leones lol, and then FNL was great... my throat still hurts from screaming and singing lol. and finding eternity was lovely. so were the other local bands, hooray. so then i was all over the rest of the weekend, brits, sarahs... church... small group... was good fun.

now today im just hanging here and watching my sisters and the dog cuz my rents went somewhere for a few hours 2 do some packaging for a shipment of toys to a mexico thing... for christmas... so yeah... i guess thats all 4 now. untill later!

yay... friday was very fun... went christmas caroling at a nursing home thing w/ the leones lol, and then FNL was great... my throat still hurts from screaming and singing lol. and finding eternity was lovely. so were the other local bands, hooray. so then i was all over the rest of the weekend, brits, sarahs... church... small group... was good fun.

now today im just hanging here and watching my sisters and the dog cuz my rents went somewhere for a few hours 2 do some packaging for a shipment of toys to a mexico thing... for christmas... so yeah... i guess thats all 4 now. untill later!

im listening 2 such now, such a lovely CD.

so this weekend! yay 4 weekends. 2morrow, being friday, im off 2 hero for the day-o, and then afterwards i might flee w/ the leones for the afternoon, due 2 lackage of ride 2 church... and then id get dropped at WHC around 4pmish... and b there till 10pm!!! YAY! thatd rock. and then saturday me n brit n anna shall prolly flee 2 sarahs and hang... and sleepover then get a ride from my mother 2 church on sunday... which i also LOVE... and i LOVE CHURCH! and then yeah... who knows wut else. o yeah my mom is gunna come 2 the session w/ angie on monday... thatll b interesting.

well i should flee... i have VERY limited internet time now (new thing from my rents, yay *sarcasm*), hence the less postingness... but yeah, ive got other blogs 2 check

*i owe it all 2 the mistake he made back then... i owe it all 2 my girls ex-boyfriend!* (hahaha...)

skerfloof. so the last time i blogged was satreday... sence then i have slept over at sarahs, went 2 church w/ sarah and anna, almost got benjamin in lots of trouble by wandering into a rec room that *was* locked... whoops... (long story... nvm) and then went 2 maxwells... played instruments and watched LOST! yay... doms alive, and then sunday went 2 small group/covenant group/what-have-you... and then on monday i went 2 church in all its lack of lovers *sigh* and speeked w/ angie for our hour (haha) and then did homework randomly thruout such a weekend, and today i worked in the cold BRRR and sawded my hooorsey, and did more stupid freaking homework, and then found out that my father did this thing where i cant log onto the internet w/o him putting in the PW. curses... but anyways... here i sit now, speeching w/ britnee on the phone and making her listen 2 my blog post as i say it outloud cuz it helps me think... haha... i laugh.

and yeah... she think i should do it, but i wont. haha... dont ask. paloof.

and i got POMEGRANIT SHAMPOO... thats hott. wahaha... im leaving now.

mmm but thats ok but i love gloomy weather.

so yesterday was nice, hung out w/ pplz, and then got home and went babysitting at a church for a couple hours and got 15 bucks! so i can use that to buy a secret santa gift for *a person* in my small group. mwahaha. o and then last nite me and laura rented and watched "happy gilmore" lol... i love adam sandler.

and today i shall b fleeing 2 sarahs 2 watch LOST (im scared, judith told me they almost kill dom/charlie! *dies*) and i believe anna and brit shall b joining us. joy. AND THEN CHURCH 2MORROW! HOORAY! tata!

grr. and big biology tests. *kills* and homework assignments. i have 2 start working on a big science test, and a big economics paper. YUCK.

so yeah, had hero today... thursdays r always long... *sigh* but most of today is over so thats good, and i have 2morrow 2 look forward 2, cuz i just sit in hero and talk and do homework. so yeah! o and today i disected a sheeps heart. that was stinky, and odd. but interesting all the same. =) hmm... church last nite was lovely... i got coffee. and, i think thats it! bbl!

HOORAY! my mom is working out voice and guitar lessons for me! ITS HAPPY! and i get 2 go see my lovers 2nite at HS service... and im done working for the week! IM HAPPY!

*-*and on and off the clouds have fought, for control over the sky. and lately the weather has been so bi-polar, and consequently so have i. now im sunny w/ a high of 75, sence U took my heavy heart, and made it light. and its funny how u find u enjoy ur life, when ur happy 2 b alive!*-*
"high of 75" - relient k - mmhmm

song in my head:

*-*u dont remember me, but i remember u. i lie awake and try so hard not 2 think of u. but who can decide wut they dream, and dream i do... i believe in u, ill give up everything just 2 find u. i have to b w/ u, 2 live, 2 breath, ur taking over me. have u forgotten all i kno, and all we had. u saw me mourning my love 4 u, and touched my hand. i kno u loved me then. i believe in u, ill give up everything just 2 find u. i have 2 b w/ u, 2 live, 2 breath, ur taking over me. i look in the mirror and see ur face, if i look deep enuf. so many things inside that r just like u, ur taking over. i believe in u, ill give up everything just 2 find u, i have 2 b w/ u, 2 live, 2 breath, ur taking over me... taking over me... ur taking over me...*-*

yay! pretty song. ANYWAYS, im done working for the week which is soooo lovely... today was tough, im so sore and tired... and COLD! brr. i cant believe its almost christmas... just a couple weeks away. my grandma wants me 2 make her a christmas list... but im thinkin im just gunna ask if shed take me 2 go get my hair stripped and chemically straightened, would b loverly!

so yeah, ive got HS service 2nite at church, which is very joyful... i love such. o. that reminds me! im gunna put the link up for finding eternity's website, and also ians blog! fun crap! tata... homework calls.

and diet coke! wahaha... cuz i can.

so yeah, weekend was full, hence no posting. the banquet was funness... my friends looked so gorgeous (uh, i looked ok i guess...), and i danced and danced and danced! yay! and then on sunday i danced around w/ merrill at church, and yesterday i danced around my house singing 2 "fallen" by evanescence... so yeah, its been a danceful weekend! danceful should b an unkymood... lol. but anyways, after the banquet we went 2 brits 4 the nite, and then 2 sarahs for saturday nite... and on sunday church was fabulouso, peter came 4 once, and even went 2 taco house w/ us, which was lovely. and on monday i went 2 counseling w/ angie again... so that was kewl. it kinda sucks tho, i wish i wouldov started seeing her a few months ago... when i was really depressed and had serious self-image problems. i could have used such more then, for sure. now ive overcome most of my depression, and about half of my self-hatred. but yeah, this week i get 2 "think about my think". we've been talking about thoughts and actions and emotions, and becoming aware of such, and controlling such... its been interesting.

yipes... g2g - ive got homework 2 do, and a closet 2 clean out... uhg

went 2 applebees w/ kathy and britnee... yesterday? its 12:51am so its technically already friday, but yeah. on thursday, just a couple hours ago, i went 2 applebees. so anyways thats why im still up. no jewlery yet... whoops. insted of hitting target i went 2 sarahs ... yesterday... to watch spider man2 (GOOD MOVIE!) and so i gots 2 find something 2morrow somehow. uhg. but at least i got my dress. im kinda excited 4 2morrow, but im also finding im kinda dreading it. im in another "hazard to myself" (by pink) mood again... *hating self* and im not really looking forward 2 being in a kinda form-fitting dress 2morrow surrounded by my gorgeous friends... *falls over dead* grrrg. i need 2 kick this self-hatred... it seriously sucks... mrr. but yeah, i spose i should go 2 bed... i have hero 2morrow early, at least i get 2 see loves 2morrow... yay... and then im off 2 brits afterwards 2 curl my hair and stuff, so thatll b kewl. and the banquets 6:30-9:30... but we're gunna go 6-10 lol... so yeah, after that im going back 2 brits for the nite... and ill prolly post saturday. untill then!

-*-everyday i fight a war against the mirror, i cant take the person staring back at me... cuz ima hazard 2 myself, dont let me get me. im my own worst enemy... its bad when u ignore urself, so irratating. dont wanna b my friend no more, i wanna b somebody else...-*-